Welcome back to Consider Yourself Hugged! Click below to watch, or Click here to listen to Episode 185.
*Disclaimer:
The information in this show is not intended to be therapy or to address your individual situation. It is information based on experiences, opinions, and research. If you need further help, please reach out to one of the resources at the end of the show notes, or others in your area.
Hey friends! Today, Michelle and I are diving into a topic that’s often swept under the holiday rug: depression. The holidays can be a joyful time, but they can also intensify feelings of sadness, loneliness, and stress. If you’re struggling or know someone who is, this episode is for you. We’ll talk about what holiday depression can look like, how to recognize it, and ways to navigate it. You’re not alone in this, and we’re here to offer you some understanding, support, and maybe even a little laughter along the way.
Understanding Depression (and the Numbers That Show We’re Not Alone)
So, let’s jump right in. Depression is incredibly common, and it’s affecting more people than ever. If you’re feeling low, you’re not alone. Here are some stats that really help put things in perspective:
Current Depression Rates: Nearly 30% of adults in the U.S. have experienced depression at some point. Right now, about 18% are struggling with it, which is a huge increase since 2015.
Who’s Most Affected? Women and young adults are seeing the largest increases. Over a third of women have a lifetime diagnosis, compared to about 20% of men.
Rising Rates Among Black and Hispanic Adults: This is significant, and it’s something we really need to talk about and address.
Regional Differences: Some states are seeing higher rates than others, particularly places like West Virginia and regions in Appalachia.
The COVID-19 Impact: This pandemic left a lasting impact on mental health, especially through job loss, isolation, and just the overall stress it brought.
When we see numbers like these, we’re reminded how important it is to talk about this openly. We need to know we’re not alone.
What Depression Really Looks Like
The Spectrum: Depression isn’t one thing. It can be situational, triggered by events, or it can be clinical, where it sticks around regardless of life circumstances. Michelle shared a great point here, explaining that with clinical depression, everything can be going just fine on the surface, but you still feel this weight.
Here’s a breakdown of common symptoms:
Emotional: Sadness, hopelessness, irritability, loss of joy.
Cognitive: Trouble focusing, negative self-talk, low self-esteem.
Physical: Changes in sleep, appetite, fatigue.
Behavioral: Withdrawing, lack of interest in things you once loved and thoughts of self-harm.
Sometimes, depression doesn’t look the way we think it should. It might show up as irritability or even numbness. If that sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone.
Why the Holidays Can Make Depression Worse
So why is this season especially hard?
High Expectations: Society gives us this idea of a “perfect holiday,” but that’s not realistic. It’s okay if your holidays don’t look like a magazine spread.
Financial Pressure: Gift-giving, parties, travel—it all adds up and can be overwhelming.
Loneliness: If you’re feeling isolated, this time of year can intensify that.
Family Dynamics: Family can be both wonderful and challenging, especially when old wounds or tense relationships resurface.
For me, Christmas used to be a high-pressure holiday because I grew up with a lot of expectations around it. Over the years, I’ve learned to redefine what the holiday means to me, letting go of the things that don’t serve my mental health.
Michelle’s Story - The Donut Shop EpiphanyMichelle shared such a powerful story here. She had her “aha” moment sitting in line at Krispy Kreme, crying, and feeling completely lost. Even though she was functioning on the outside, she knew something wasn’t right. That’s when she realized it was time to start medication. It’s a reminder that it’s okay to seek help before things get to a crisis point.
Tami’s Journey with DepressionI talk a bit about my family’s history with depression, especially how my mother’s struggles affected me growing up. There was a time when I resented her, but looking back, I understand more about what she was dealing with. We don’t always see the full story when we’re young, and now I feel compassion rather than resentment.
Coping Strategies for the Holidays
Here are some strategies we’ve found helpful for coping with holiday depression. Remember, these aren’t one-size-fits-all, so find what works best for you:
Set Realistic Expectations: The holidays don’t have to be picture-perfect. Focus on what truly matters to you and let go of the rest.
Keep Self-Care in Your Routine: Exercise, good sleep, healthy eating—these things are just as important, if not more so, during the holiday rush.
Say “No” When You Need To: It’s okay to protect your energy. If you don’t want to attend every party, don’t feel obligated.
Limit Alcohol: Alcohol is a depressant and can make symptoms worse, especially if you’re on antidepressants. Be mindful of how it affects you.
Faith and Support: I talk about how my faith is part of my own healing journey. But I also believe God gives us resources like therapy and medication, and there’s no shame in using them.
Michelle: "Remember, a holiday season that serves your mental health is a holiday well-spent. You don’t owe anyone a “perfect” holiday."
Tips for Loved Ones Supporting Someone with Depression
If you’re supporting a loved one who’s struggling, here are a few things that can make a huge difference:
Be Kind and Understanding: Recognize that depression is unique to each person. What worked for you might not work for someone else.
Check In, But Don’t Push: Sometimes a simple message can be a lifeline, but don’t pressure them to “just cheer up.”
Hold Space: Be patient and willing to listen without trying to “fix” them. Sometimes people just need a safe place to talk.
Resources Mentioned
Here are some resources we’ll link in the show notes:
988 - The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline for immediate help.
Mental Health First Aid Program - If you want to learn more about how to support someone with mental health struggles, this program is excellent.
Depression Symptom Checklist (below)- A simple tool to help identify symptoms.
Michelle’s Article on Grieving During the Holidays - If you’re facing a recent loss, this article can be a gentle guide.
Activities
1. Depression Statistics Awareness
Personal Reflection: Knowing that nearly one-third of adults have experienced depression, how does this knowledge make you feel about your own experiences?
2. My Holiday Triggers
Identify specific holiday triggers for you.
Holiday Triggers (Check any that apply):
Unrealistic expectations
Social and family pressures
Financial stress
Missing loved ones or loneliness
Other: _____________________________
Reflection: Why do these specific triggers affect me during the holidays?
3. Recognizing My Symptoms
Symptoms Checklist:
Emotional: Sadness, irritability, hopelessness.
Cognitive: Difficulty concentrating, negative thoughts.
Physical: Changes in sleep/appetite, fatigue.
Behavioral: Withdrawal from activities, social isolation.
Reflection: When have I experienced these symptoms the most in past holidays?
4. Coping Strategy Plan
Choose at least three coping strategies you’ll try this holiday season.
Self-Care:
Regular exercise
Gratitude journaling
Limiting alcohol consumption
Other: ________________________
Social Connection:
Reaching out to supportive people
Joining a community activity or volunteer group
Attending social gatherings in moderation
Professional Help:
Contacting a therapist or counselor if needed
5. Creating My Support Circle
List three people or resources you can reach out to when feeling low.
6. Write Yourself a Kindness Note
Take a moment to write encouraging words to yourself.
Dear [Your Name],
The holiday season may be challenging, but you are taking positive steps to protect your well-being. Remember that it’s okay to feel this way, and you’re allowed to take it slow...
Reflection
What is one coping tool from this sheet that you can start using today?
Final Thoughts
The holidays are complex, and if you’re dealing with depression, it’s okay to feel that complexity. Take things one day at a time, set boundaries, and lean on people who understand. You don’t have to go through this alone.
Michelle and I would love to hear from you! Do you have questions or topics you’d like us to cover in our holiday mental health series? Let us know what’s on your mind.
As I've always asked in the past, please pass the show link along to your friends and subscribe, download, and review wherever you are listening. If you’re a woman and you haven’t joined our private FB group A Place for Women, please do that now! It’ll be your source of encouragement. I'd love for you to follow my Tami West Seminars Facebook page as well. If you'd like to know more about my Mental Health First Aid Courses, contact me at 615-497-7714 or tamiwest@tamiwest.com.
And until next time, Consider Yourself Hugged 😘🤗
Mental Health Resources:
Michelle Kixmiller, MSN, MAE, RN, APN, PMHNP-BC
Michelle Kixmiller is a Board Certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner and Licensed Educator. She works with children and adults with mental health needs including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, ADHD, autism, schizophrenia, and obsessive compulsive disorder. Michelle served as a public school teacher and science department chair for over a decade when a family tragedy pulled her in a different direction. The death of her younger brother after a multiple year battle with depression and alcoholism led her to pursue a career in the mental health field. She went back to school to become a registered nurse graduating and gaining experience as a critical care nurse at a level 1 regional burn center prior to completing a graduate degree to become a mental health nurse practitioner. Her vision is holistic care through teamwork to create a more peaceful school environment for students and staff alike. No one should have to struggle alone. Michelle currently works full time for a non-profit community mental health center at an outpatient clinic and works PRN for an inpatient crisis stabilization unit. When not at work she loves spending time with family, traveling, watching movies (not scary ones), running (slowly), and Crossfit. Contact Michelle at Silver Lining Psychiatric Solutions, 615-378-7713 or mkixmill@gmail.com.
Tami West, PhD
Stress and Mental Health Expert Dr. Tami West uses her entertaining and compelling style to shine a new light on how to transform your life and discover solutions to life’s challenges.
Tami has worked in a variety of industries including healthcare, school nutrition, corporate sales, and 10 years as a public-school teacher. In 2013 she received her PhD in Human Development, studying the connections among stress, emotions, and identity.
Dr. West has spoken in 48 states across the US, as well as the United Kingdom, Australia, and New Zealand. In any given year, Tami speaks to groups with audiences consisting of anywhere from 100 to 3,000 people.
Dr. West is the author of several successful publications including three books: The Stress Club, Life Without the Monsters and Thrive. When she's not speaking or writing, you might find her with her traveling with her husband and family, reading historical fiction, or watching Big Bang Theory.
Tami connects with audiences through real experience, cutting edge research, and transparent stories – all sprinkled with humor! She will make you laugh, cry, and shine a refreshingly new light on life's challenges.
Television Interviews
Contact Tami at tamiwest@tamiwest.com or follow her at Tami West Seminars.
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